Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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