Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We left the knife in your bed.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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