And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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