Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
