Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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