Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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