As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
