did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
