Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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