I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize