At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
