I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
