Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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