So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
