my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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