I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
