the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
