so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
