Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
