Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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