I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
