So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
