I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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