I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It was a blind-side dick pic.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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