Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
