Where is the hickey?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
