trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
