well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
