Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
