I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
