Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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