forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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