So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hippo gnu deer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
