Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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