I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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