but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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