I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
foreskin is a definite game changer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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