not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
