I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
