So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
