Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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