those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
