she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
