That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."