I would do horrible things to your vagina.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.