I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
