Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
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hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.