i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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