well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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