I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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