That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
