it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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