she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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