Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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