I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
