the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
