return my video game
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
