So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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