He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
