My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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