Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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