It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize