I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
