therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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