This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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