Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
