You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
