hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
