i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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