Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
