omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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