do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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