Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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