I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
