Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
